Stop Negative Self-Talk: Five Ways to Build More Confidence

Do you want to improve your life and feel productive? It begins in your mind! If you take charge of your thoughts, you can develop new mental habits that generate more confidence, joy and success.

Recognize Negativity

Mainstream thought is often negative and sales oriented. It focuses on problems, and cultivates a belief in scarcity. Our media culture generates negativity and fear. News, political commentary, and advertising tells us we are uneducated, lonely, unhappy, unhealthy, poor, slow, needy, and overall, leading miserable lives. If you believe, and recirculate, all information presented to you, you are not exercising the creative power of your own mind.  Be disciplined, aware of your thinking, and sensible. Your natural state is joy. Don’t allow your experiences to become someone else’s idea of what your life should look like.

We might own many outdated ideas or dramas from the past, such as old parental messages, disappointing relationships, or any number of perceived failures. These affect our decision making. We create negative self-talk and negative thought processes when we give those experiences and messages too much power over our present reality. If we choose to value the insight we gain from tough personal or work they will become lessons full of wisdom and maturity. It makes us better teachers, in any area of life. Thus, there is no need to grieve, resent, or get stuck in the past.

Here are a few classic disempowering thoughts you may recognize. I’m not beautiful. I’m poor but good. I can’t be happy. Life is hard. The world is a terrible place. I will fail. Things will never get any better. I never make any money. Do you want to break bad mental habits? Be aware of what you think about. The first step to improve today is to change your thinking. Focus on a sense of positive expectation. See yourself as successful and competent. Release your fears. Think good thoughts about everyone. Have a sense of compassion for people who make decisions that do not recognize, nor respect, their divine potential.

Set a New Mental Equivalent

What we think broadcasts to the universe what we want to create. If we set a mental equivalent of success, prosperity, better relationships, more self-confidence, or love, then that’s where our mind needs to be. Not occasionally. All the time.

Focus on a sense of positive expectation, instead of lamenting over the disasters presented on the morning news, or posting negative commentary on social media. Choose to rise out of negativity by seeing the best in your colleagues, family, or friends for 10 minutes a day. See yourself as a success. See yourself as a loving person and love yourself. Use positive and auspicious language (no swearing!) Release your fears about being a worthy individual. It is impossible for you to be a nobody. Switch on your internal positive thought channel the moment you arise in the morning, and consciously invite abundance and opportunity into your daily experience.

Know That Thoughts Create Reality

Plenty of experts will tell you that thoughts create reality. Today’s popular blend of mysticism, psychology, spirituality, consciousness studies, religion, and science points toward the power of energy and intention. Western culture is embracing the power of the mind, and the discipline needed to harness its power.

An empowered thinker is one who masters their emotions and outlook on life. This is accomplished with positive thinking. By being aware of your internal state, and how that translates into your reactions and behaviors, it is possible to develop your mind to support who you want to be, rather than being an effect of the world.

A positive mental attitude is an optimistic thought processes.  It has a foundation in love, prosperity, achievement, excellence, confidence, self-worth, and gratitude. When you interact with others with these qualities, you become an inspiration. It is a way to approach life. Disciplined yourself to think, speak, and be positive. It will train your mind to change a perceived reality.  You can begin the process by repeatedly making positive mental statements.

Notice when you shift to a negative perception or expectation. The film What the Bleep Do We Know!? showed that our neuro networks become ingrained in patterns that make us search for a chemical hit in our interpretation of reality. So, when we choose to stay in a negative thought process, we keep repeating the same life experiences because we will never view a different reality. Our lives never improve. Living an abundant and joyful life becomes impossible because we generate more of what we don’t want.

Negative Thoughts Have Physical Effects

Our thoughts, memories, and emotions affect our bodies. Science has determined that we hardwire our brains by our associative memory—our associations with people, events, times, places, and things. We assign emotions to the memories recorded in complex strings of nerve cells that are wired together. The strings become networks of information we can automatically access.

Connections between our nerve cells are strengthened when they are repeatedly stimulated in a process called long term potentiation. Ordinary, as well as extreme, circumstances, program our brains.  This is associative learning. For example, trauma can change the structure and function of the brain and may create an automatic response in the form of anxiety or fear.

The good news is that we rely upon many automatic programs to function. Neural networks give us a wonderful opportunity to shift into mental cruise control. Why think about brushing our teeth or riding a bike? We simply do it. We’ve established the network by repetition so it’s no necessary to think about every moment in life in excruciating detail. Positive thinking is a habit, built by repetition, and optimizes our talents. People who project a healthy and optimistic outlook are magnetic and an inspiration to others.

Your thinking affects your bodies. Thoughts can become complex patterns that don’t serve you well. For example, putting yourself down is a bad habit built on old information and experience. Why create your current reality with old data? Leftover emotions like despair, discouragement, low self-esteem, and self-pity from past experiences gives you a chemical boost of neuropeptides and guides your perception of new choices. And the kind of reality you create based upon old, outdated information will greatly differ from an attitude of self-love, self-worth, gratitude, service to others, or joy.

Cancel Negative Thoughts and Substitute Powerful Ideas

If you want to feel better, stop engaging in negative self-talk. These are all ‘put down’ habits you have unconsciously developed, such as I can’t get ahead in this organization, I never succeed, I am never noticed, I’m always late, I’m not smart enough. New positive thought-strings facilitate new systems in the brain. They produce a chemistry associated with emotional changes. So, learn to react differently to life. If you catch yourself in a ‘put-down’ say “I cancel that.” Substitute a new and powerful thought about yourself, such as I am an important part of this organization, I am successful and wise, I create success wherever I go, I respect everyone’s time, and I am a powerful presence and important to many people.

Thoughts, emotions, beliefs, are intertwined with your physicality. Negative self-talk can make you feel ill and unmotivated. Here’s how to choose your thoughts wisely, shift to positive self-talk and move your mind to a new way of being. You can easily cultivate these healthy habits:

  1. Check your state of mind. Choose your own attitude and emotions. Don’t accept another person’s outlook on life. Focus your intentions in the present moment. Because we have a choice, our experiences begin in the mind. As within, so without. Be aware of what you want to create.
  2. Focus on today. Leave old memories, past relationships, and hurts behind. Put your energy into the present moment. Find joy in what you do well and what you bring to the world. Take a deep breath, stay centered, and remind yourself that life is a gift.
  3. See the big picture. Today is but a blink in time. Difficult moments are not permanent. You can move through them with ease and grace, without depleting your energy reserves. Make a commitment to make every day count because life moves all too quickly. Quit wasting your energy on unproductive ideas, spreading gossip, and regurgitating old, negative conversations.
  4. Release negative expectation. Focus on what YOU can do to contribute to a better world and not what others expect you to do. Pace yourself. As you practice positive expectation, you’ll naturally attract better circumstances. Have faith in the process.
  5. Be thankful. There is no better way to change your energy then to turn up the volume on gratitude. Focused on joy, and be thankful for what brings you joy. By the Law of Attraction, the universe will provide you with more joy. Be generous and say thank you to those in your life who care about you. Appreciate yourself for being on this planet to serve others with your special gifts. Have gratitude for your journey.

Retiring negative perceptions frees space in your mind for a new positive attitude. Stop recycling old emotional states that have no purpose and cultivate self-worth confidence. Be persistent. Let go of self-criticism and move forward. When a challenge arises, include thoughts of competence, gratitude, prosperity, unconditional love, self-appreciation, and joy. That’s the foundation of a new and better reality!

In Love and Light,

Copyright © 2017 by Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D. All rights reserved.

The Rev. Dr. Charlene M. Proctor is the best-selling author of The Oneness Gospel, Let Your Goddess Grow! and The Women’s Book of Empowerment. She is a frequent guest author and media guest, teaching many to search within to create a personal journey to joy. An ordained Minister of Spiritual Peacemaking, and a blessing giver trained by the Oneness guides from Fiji and India, she helps awaken individuals from all walks of life to the magnificence of their own gifts. Her book The Oneness Gospel: Birthing the Christ Consciousness and Divine Human in You won a Nautilus Award for its contribution to global awakening and interfaith approach to seeking truth.

Visit www.charleneproctor.com to find her books and empowering messages. Blog and Tweet with us! See http://charleneproctor.com/blog/

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