Being at Ease With Yourself – Tips for a Balanced Life

We are often so busy managing our busy lives that we forget to fill up our own tank of energy. How do we refill ourselves? Going to the spa or a yoga class helps us nurture ourselves, but learning to be at ease with who we are is more important to recharging our batteries. How can we learn to be at ease with ourselves? What does it mean to be an authentic person?

When we don’t know ourselves, we can’t have a healthy and balanced outlook on life. Self-power grows through self-appreciation and self-nurturing. Being at ease is accepting yourself. People, who know who they are, express self-love calmly and confidently. They’re extremely magnetic. Ease is everyone’s natural, healthy state. People who are not at ease with themselves must force themselves to be compassionate; they exhibit impatience and are unable to be fully present when you are with them.

You are a butterfly

Like butterflies, we are all in various stages of personal growth and spiritual metamorphosis. In the butterfly’s larval stage, it’s a caterpillar. The caterpillar has to shed its skin several times in order to accommodate its expanding body. It knows exactly where it is while it’s preparing itself and getting stronger for its final transformation. It goes into its chrysalis, into solitude, into the dark, and completely reassembles its cells to make itself into a new butterfly. Shortly before the butterfly emerges from its chrysalis, the chrysalis becomes transparent and reveals the butterfly inside. To prepare for takeoff, the insect’s swollen body pumps fluids into its tiny, shriveled-up wings. This fluid, which comes from a reservoir contained in its abdomen, sustains the butterfly and allows it to expand its wings and fly.

If we were butterflies, what would happen to us if our chrysalis cracked open early and we had to emerge before we were ready? Could we eat what was in front of us? Would we fly any faster, any longer, any higher? I like to think that we develop strength and spiritual vitality when we crawl out on our own. Without this work, we would die. We really can’t choose not to emerge. That’s the natural way of things. Like the butterfly, we must pay attention to what is presented to us and integrate the inner world of awareness and the outer world of experience so these worlds inform one another. This is how we develop authenticity.

The Sage and the Mouse

There is a wonderful story in my new book The Oneness Gospel. It’s a favorite of the monks of India.

Long ago, there once was a kindly wise man who adopted a mouse. The Sage, who was also a great wizard, turned this mouse into a girl and lovingly raised her as his daughter. Under his tutelage and kindness, she grew to be serene and beautiful. She became his greatest joy. He gave her an education, and she received all the benefits of a life of refinement and abundance. When she came of age, and it was time for her to marry, the Sage, knowing she deserved the best, looked for a suitable husband for her. He presented the overseers of the cosmos to her: the kings of the sun, the moon, and the stars, all great and noble beings. They were the most excellent and honorable marriage candidates in the universe.

The girl who had been a mouse thoughtfully considered the life that each king could offer to her. She contemplated on the lofty power each one represented. Then, one by one, she rejected them, turning down their offers of marriage. Still only desiring her happiness, the Sage searched to the ends of the earth to find more noble beings who represented the different aspects of nature: the lords of the wind and the mountain, the ruler of the ocean. These he presented to her in a grand ceremony, hoping to honor and please her. Again, she kindly refused each one.

One day, the Rat Guardian, who was not invited to be presented with the other noble beings, arrived at the palace to ask for the girl’s hand. His greatest achievement was to tunnel through the hard structure of the mountains. The Sage’s daughter instantly fell in love with the Rat Guardian, whom she thought was the finest candidate of all. When the Sage saw this, he was perplexed. How could this be? Then he remembered that his daughter deserved to know her true self and know happiness. With this realization, he instantly turned her back into a mouse so she could marry the Rat Guardian and live with authenticity and happiness.

What’s the moral here? You can never deny who you really are. If you try to be something you’re not, there can be no joy, no feeling of completion. To be at ease, you must be who you are. If you can only be a mouse, then be that mouse and feel satisfied with the choices you make in life that arise from that authentic part of you. Being yourself will be your greatest joy. When you know your own truth and relax into who you are, life will always support you. Watch the corresponding video on The Balancing Act here.

Every Blessing,

© Charlene M Proctor and The Goddess Network, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
For more affirmations, read The Women’s Book of Empowerment: 323 Affirmations that Change Everyday Problems into Moments of Potential. Click Here to buy.

Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D. is an ordained Minister of Spiritual Peacemaking and a Deeksha facilitator trained by the oneness guides from Fiji and India.  She is the bestselling author of Let Your Goddess Grow! 7 Spiritual Lessons on Female Power and Positive Thinking and The Women’s Book of Empowerment: 323 Affirmations That Change Everyday Problems Into Moments of Potential. Her Midwestern sensibility and spiritual approach to self-empowerment has helped thousands awaken to their Divine magnificence within. Her new book The Oneness Gospel is having its big Amazon launch on Tuesday April 24th, 2012. Subscribe to this blog for more inspiration and news of how to get the book and some wonderful gifts during the launch.

© Charlene M Proctor and The Goddess Network, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
For more affirmations, read The Women’s Book of Empowerment: 323 Affirmations that Change Everyday Problems into Moments of Potential. Click Here to buy.

How to be at Ease

What facilitates a state of “being at ease?”

1. Live from the inside out. Let’s learn to develop calmness and a feeling of inner expansion. Calmness invites focus, self awareness, energy, intelligence into our experience. Bliss is not going to knock on our front door and asked to be let in! Calmness is developed with diligence – we must learn to quiet the mind in meditation or contemplation.
2. Practice inner awareness. We must get to know our own behavior. When we learn to live as an observer, we are aware of our own behaviors and how it affects others.
3. Be fully present with people and circumstances. Quit texting when you are talking to someone and give them your full attention. Slow your mind down and focus on the task or situation at hand.
4. Value honesty and seek to be authentic. Part of being at ease and living a balanced life is to be an authentic individual. You can never, ever give someone something you do not already own yourself, such as love. To try to do so is inauthentic. So, as you get to know yourself, learn to be honest with your feelings, recognize your unique perspective on life. As long as it’s not hurting anyone, celebrate you and your gifts to the world in your work, personal life, and activities.

Today’s Affirmation

Developing ease and positivity also comes from affirming the best in you. So let’s begin our day with an affirmation that recognizes our desire to get in touch with ourselves. We cannot lead a balanced life until we love and appreciate who we are. Let’s affirm:

“Today I change the way I internalize life. I inhale living spirit with every breath I take and focus my energy to help others on their soul journey. I love my entire self and trust life. I am comfortable knowing that I am loved for who I am because I am a unique expression of creation. I am in love with my true and authentic self.”

I hope you enjoyed these tips on being with ease with yourself. I’d love to hear from you, so please do share your comments and personal stories below.

And, please stay in touch with me by subscribing to this blog using the form on the right-hand side of your screen. That way, I can send you more stories and insight from The Oneness Gospel.

Every Blessing,

© Charlene M Proctor and The Goddess Network, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
For more affirmations, read The Women’s Book of Empowerment: 323 Affirmations that Change Everyday Problems into Moments of Potential. Click Here to buy.

A Spiritual Transformation Gives You Joy in Simple Things

Bhagavan makes spirituality easy, and says it is the amount of joy you have in your life. It is not measured by how many hours you meditate. Everyone, he says, will have a unique form of spirituality and awakening. If there are six billion people on the planet, then there will be six billion extraordinary experiences of awakening and of the Divine. That’s six billion special practices of spiritualities, six billion special experiences of spiritual transformation. One is not better than the other. Just be honest with yourself and know growth never really ends.

There’s an old story about a man seeking enlightenment. He finds an enlightened holy man who shares his before-and-after scenario with the spiritual seeker. “Before I was enlightened, I chopped wood and carried water,” says the holy man.

The seeker, expecting to hear about how amazing the holy man’s life became after his awakening, says, “Wow, what did you do afterward?”

“Chopped wood, carried water,” replies the holy man. “Only after I was enlightened, I really enjoyed it.” The spiritual seeker who looks to quiet the mind and pursues communion with God is growing his or her consciousness and doesn’t look for extraordinary experiences. When your consciousness grows, it means that you are developing the ability to experience the simplest things in life with joy.

You can have the same experiences repeatedly and feel a new, heightened sense of awareness each time. Eating a big slice of your birthday cake is always fun. So is seeing the same family members every year, riding the Tilt-A-Whirl, or catching the same bass in the lake behind your house. Unawareness is feeling disconnected or let down by life, feeling depressed, like a robot living on emotional reactions. You sense lack everywhere, in everything. If you think you’re leading a spiritual life, ask yourself, “How well am I experiencing my reality? Is there joy in nearly everything?” If you’re awakened, you see life for what it is rather than what you think it should be. Living a spiritual life is feeling at ease with yourself, your feelings, and your relationships. It’s accepting people exactly as they are and being grateful for them. You’re able to face other people without fear, guilt, or defense mechanisms because you’re not on guard, not afraid of making mistakes or losing something.

A person who is truly spiritual can live alongside of others and never forget God, even for a moment. The Sufi sage Abu Sa’id ibn Abi-al-Khayr once said that the true mystic can come and go, eat and sleep, buy and sell, marry, chat, and be with others in the mainstream of life but never be out of touch with his or her own divinity. No matter what your life experiences are, there is no reason ever to be separated from who you really are.

I hope you enjoyed this short article on being with ease with yourself. I’d love to hear from you, so please do share your comments and personal stories below.

And, please stay in touch with me by subscribing to this blog using the form on the right-hand side of your screen. That way, I can send you more stories and insight from The Oneness Gospel.

Every Blessing,

© Charlene M Proctor and The Goddess Network, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
For more affirmations, read The Women’s Book of Empowerment: 323 Affirmations that Change Everyday Problems into Moments of Potential. Click Here to buy.

Looking at life with wonder

Life is supposed to be an adventure, right? But how do we express our delight and wonder with life’s magnificence while we’re doing boring  jobs, paying bills, or taking care of our elderly parents? Once we become aware of the present moment and how perfect and powerful that moment is, we look at life differently. Unfortunately, we are accustomed to looking at life rather than looking within. It’s the difference between doing and being. Kids are very aware of the present moment. They’re great at it, in fact, and they don’t think too much beyond the present. As our responsibilities grow in adulthood, we often forget this important key to cultivating more joy in our lives.

As adults, we have forgotten how to play. When we look at any activity with a sense of joy and invite ourselves to be surprised with the simple things, time slows down.  Every moment becomes a gift. If we look at life once in awhile like kids, the simplest things would seem amazing – a sunny day, a lack of structure, seeing everything new with fresh innocence. Recapturing this simple joy, and the gratitude for life’s bounty, is vital to living a balanced life because joy is our natural state of being.

How can we can learn from our children and recapture a joyful, playful, younger outlook?

1. Unseat old thought patterns about having fun. When you were growing up, did adults tell you that if you were playing you were being irresponsible? Not working hard enough? If you were having fun, did your parents appear to feel worse because they thought there was no fun in their own lives? Sometimes past programming takes all the fun out of having fun. Learn to recognize these old mental programs and release them.
2. Indulge in more simplicity and wonder. Slow down. Stop looking at entertainment as a pleasure that provides you with an adrenaline rush. Get rid of your “bucket list” and lower your threshold of expectation. Maximize your appreciation with the basics—a delicious meal, a good book, a hummingbird in the garden, the five minutes a day your dog licks your face or your cat purrs at you. Be fully present for these types of simple pleasures.
3. Learn to love everyday life. Living an intelligent life is being in touch with life. It means being present and connected with other people. At mealtime, eat your food and enjoy it. Appreciate the weather. Rejoice when a friend calls you to chat. Give yourself over to whatever you’re experiencing today. You’ll find that joy can trickle down into the smallest things.

Let’s remember that our natural and balanced state of being is joy. Let’s affirm:

“Today, I am a playful soul child. I look at everything with a sense of wonder and surprise. Time slows down today, and each moment is a gift. I love simply being me, being free, and making it up as I go along. I have a skip in my step and stretch my arms wide to the sky to accept an unlimited universe filled with joy! I have a joyful, playful, youthful spirit.”

Put aside the adrenaline rush you want to experience when you try some new, “over-the-top” experience. Instead, look for the moments of power you find in your home, backyard, or workplace. Empowered and balanced people are constantly in awe of life. They give thanks for the opportunities that exist to appreciate simplicity. Watch the corresponding video on The Balancing Act here.

Every Blessing,

© Charlene M Proctor and The Goddess Network, Inc. All Rights Reserved. For more affirmations, read The Women’s Book of Empowerment:323 Affirmations that Change Everyday Problems into Moments of Potential. Click Here to buy.

More affirmations that help you be a kid again and embrace life with a sense of surprise

Can’t be a kid again

It feels great to play and relax with my children. I love to be a kid. Laughing together shows we are all worthy of having fun in our lives. I take time to play and love the child in me. Everyone in this family deserves to have fun. Including me!

Can’t spend money on having fun

I do not recognize any lack in the universe. My source works through me to provide what I want. I am worthy of joy and pleasure! Denying myself pleasure does not create more room for other good things to happen. There is an unlimited supply of pleasure in the universe. I now allow my income to move through me so I can enjoy life more fully. The channel is open between my money and accepting good, fun, and joy.

Worried about the cost of having fun

I am an image of wealth because I am my unlimited God-self. I open a clear channel to replenish my supply. Since my needs are met even before I anticipate them, I can spend money on having fun. There is no need to deny myself anything. I am an expression of wealth and abundance. There is no lack in the infinite mind of God.

Expressing Joy is a form of Empowerment

Even though we may be dedicated to our families and careers, we must find time to express joy and creativity. Each of us is a special creation, an individualized spark of the Presence. Because we are mini-models of the Universe, we are forever evolving and creating. Joy flows through uninhibited creativity, so let’s be the idea of joy so we can grow personally and spiritually.

Joy is essential to living a balanced and empowered life

Joy is vital to your personal and spiritual development. Expressing joy helps you feel more confident and comfortable about who you are. It’s physically healthy to bring joy though your body, too, through your speech, actions, or artwork. Spiritually, joy helps open your energy centers. It’s part of your true nature and does not fluctuate based upon what happens in your life. It is a steady constant. Unless you find some way to express your joy, you cannot live in this spiritual state, nor will you attract people and situations that give you joy.  You have to resonate with joy at a deep level to attract more joy in your life.

When my boys left home for college, I realized that care-taking had taken up all of my time. I had never had time to cultivate any space in which to learn something new. Today, I use ballroom dancing as an articulation of self-love and happiness. Expressing joy for nothing but the sake of joy is totally freeing. It’s an exercise in letting out your light. Do you desire to sing, dance, paint, sing, play the trumpet, or make a home movie? Creative energy is your divine heritage. You cannot just answer to tasks or live in servitude. These are patterns of behavior you may have adopted by being a caretaker and provider. It’s time to make a change in your life.

How do we invite our creativity and joy to pour forth?

1. Leave your inner-critic behind. Negative self-talk blocks creative expression. For example, if you say, “I can’t” or ”I’m not talented, fast enough, strong or young enough,” too often, that’s what you’ll be. When you’re pursuing joy and believe in yourself, you realize that life is a miracle. And so are you. There is no limit to what you can do when expressing joy is your objective. Release all those limiting thoughts that hinder your creativity. Do what makes you joyful.
2. Expect a few train wrecks along the way. Not every creative expression in life is going to be a first-place effort. When you’re learning to let your light pour out, you’re going to be derailed a few times. Be like the Little Engine That Could. Keep your chin up, keep going, and don’t flush all your paint down the drain or throw your dance shoes away just because you didn’t produce a prize-winning painting or get on Dancing with the Stars. You are living art. Be humble to the creative process and keep going.
3. Create from the most joyful place in your heart. Let go. Joy and creativity is a right brain, intuitive process. It’s very feminine. You can’t stay in your left brain all day, punching numbers and writing corporate memos. At my studio, the happiest people I see each day are doctors, accountants, and lawyers who are pulling buoyancy into the very nature of their being. They are making an effort to be balanced and dance from a joyful place in side of themselves. They don’t worry about how good they look … they’re just letting out their light. And it’s a beautiful thing to watch.

Today, let’s put aside our judging and analytical minds and remember that we are each a special and unique creation. Joy is your natural state of being. Let’s affirm:

“True joy is not something I acquire from outer events or things. It is an energy I release from within. I am a unique and special creation. I am an individualized spark of the Divine Presence. I am meant to express my creativity because I am a mini-model of the Universe, which is forever evolving and creating. I welcome joy today as my uninhibited expression. When I dance, paint, sing, or am creative in any way, I AM the idea of joy.” Watch the corresponding video on The Balancing Act here.

Every Blessing,

© Charlene M Proctor and The Goddess Network, Inc. All Rights Reserved. For more affirmations, read The Women’s Book of Empowerment:323 Affirmations that Change Everyday Problems into Moments of Potential. Click Here to buy.

Please visit my Facebook page to see more dance photos: facebook.com/charlene.m.proctor

Being at Ease with Yourself

We are often so busy managing our busy lives that we forget to fill up our own tank of energy. How do we refill ourselves? Going to the spa or a yoga class helps us nurture ourselves, but learning to be at ease with who we are is more important to recharging our batteries. How can we learn to be at ease with ourselves? What does it mean to be an authentic person?

When we don’t know ourselves, we can’t have a healthy and balanced outlook on life. Self-power grows through self-appreciation and self-nurturing. Being at ease is accepting yourself. People, who know who they are, express self-love calmly and confidently. They’re extremely magnetic. Ease is everyone’s natural, healthy state. People who are not at ease with themselves must force themselves to be compassionate; they exhibit impatience and are unable to be fully present when you are with them.

You are a butterfly

Like butterflies, we are all in various stages of personal growth and spiritual metamorphosis. In the butterfly’s larval stage, it’s a caterpillar. The caterpillar has to shed its skin several times in order to accommodate its expanding body. It knows exactly where it is while it’s preparing itself and getting stronger for its final transformation. It goes into its chrysalis, into solitude, into the dark, and completely reassembles its cells to make itself into a new butterfly. Shortly before the butterfly emerges from its chrysalis, the chrysalis becomes transparent and reveals the butterfly inside. To prepare for takeoff, the insect’s swollen body pumps fluids into its tiny, shriveled-up wings. This fluid, which comes from a reservoir contained in its abdomen, sustains the butterfly and allows it to expand its wings and fly.

If we were butterflies, what would happen to us if our chrysalis cracked open early and we had to emerge before we were ready? Could we eat what was in front of us? Would we fly any faster, any longer, any higher? I like to think that we develop strength and spiritual vitality when we crawl out on our own. Without this work, we would die. We really can’t choose not to emerge. That’s the natural way of things. Like the butterfly, we must pay attention to what is presented to us and integrate the inner world of awareness and the outer world of experience so these worlds inform one another. This is how we develop authenticity.

The Sage and the Mouse

There is a wonderful story in my new book The Oneness Gospel. It’s a favorite of the monks of India.

Long ago, there once was a kindly wise man who adopted a mouse. The Sage, who was also a great wizard, turned this mouse into a girl and lovingly raised her as his daughter. Under his tutelage and kindness, she grew to be serene and beautiful. She became his greatest joy. He gave her an education, and she received all the benefits of a life of refinement and abundance. When she came of age, and it was time for her to marry, the Sage, knowing she deserved the best, looked for a suitable husband for her. He presented the overseers of the cosmos to her: the kings of the sun, the moon, and the stars, all great and noble beings. They were the most excellent and honorable marriage candidates in the universe.

The girl who had been a mouse thoughtfully considered the life that each king could offer to her. She contemplated on the lofty power each one represented. Then, one by one, she rejected them, turning down their offers of marriage. Still only desiring her happiness, the Sage searched to the ends of the earth to find more noble beings who represented the different aspects of nature: the lords of the wind and the mountain, the ruler of the ocean. These he presented to her in a grand ceremony, hoping to honor and please her. Again, she kindly refused each one.

One day, the Rat Guardian, who was not invited to be presented with the other noble beings, arrived at the palace to ask for the girl’s hand. His greatest achievement was to tunnel through the hard structure of the mountains. The Sage’s daughter instantly fell in love with the Rat Guardian, whom she thought was the finest candidate of all. When the Sage saw this, he was perplexed. How could this be? Then he remembered that his daughter deserved to know her true self and know happiness. With this realization, he instantly turned her back into a mouse so she could marry the Rat Guardian and live with authenticity and happiness.

What’s the moral here? You can never deny who you really are. If you try to be something you’re not, there can be no joy, no feeling of completion. To be at ease, you must be who you are. If you can only be a mouse, then be that mouse and feel satisfied with the choices you make in life that arise from that authentic part of you. Being yourself will be your greatest joy. When you know your own truth and relax into who you are, life will always support you. Watch the corresponding video on The Balancing Act here.

Every Blessing,

© Charlene M Proctor and The Goddess Network, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
For more affirmations, read The Women’s Book of Empowerment: 323 Affirmations that Change Everyday Problems into Moments of Potential. Click Here to buy.

Today’s Tips

What facilitates a state of “being at ease?”

1. Live from the inside out.  Let’s learn to develop calmness and a feeling of inner expansion. Calmness invites focus, self awareness, energy, intelligence into our experience.  Bliss is not going to knock on our front door and asked to be let in!  Calmness is developed with diligence – we must learn to quiet the mind in meditation or contemplation.
2. Practice inner awareness.  We must get to know our own behavior. When we learn to live as an observer, we are aware of our own behaviors and how it affects others.
3. Be fully present with people and circumstances. Quit texting when you are talking to someone and give them your full attention. Slow your mind down and focus on the task or situation at hand.
4. Value honesty and seek to be authentic. Part of being at ease and living a balanced life is to be an authentic individual.  You can never, ever give someone something you do not already own yourself, such as love. To try to do so is inauthentic. So, as you get to know yourself, learn to be honest with your feelings, recognize your unique perspective on life. As long as it’s not hurting anyone, celebrate you and your gifts to the world in your work, personal life, and activities.

Today’s Affirmation

Developing ease and positivity also comes from affirming the best in you. So let’s begin our day with an affirmation that recognizes our desire to get in touch with ourselves. We cannot lead a balanced life until we love and appreciate who we are. Let’s affirm:

“Today I change the way I internalize life. I inhale living spirit with every breath I take and focus my energy to help others on their soul journey.  I love my entire self and trust life. I am comfortable knowing that I am loved for who I am because I am a unique expression of creation. I am in love with my true and authentic self.”

© Charlene M Proctor and The Goddess Network, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
For more affirmations, read The Women’s Book of Empowerment: 323 Affirmations that Change Everyday Problems into Moments of Potential. Click Here to buy.