I love writing books, but at this moment in my work, I’m branching out into different projects. I’ve been dancing a lot to show people that you have to live your joy. It’s not enough to make a checklist about what you’re planning to do and follow a lot of theories that will get you there. You have to simply make a decision to do it, and claim what is yours. Take action. Remain open hearted and have an attitude of positivity. Quit analyzing, and just go for it.
Once you are committed, you must demonstrate to The Universe that YOU GET IT and practice joy in the present moment. No matter what the activity, live your joy fully and wholeheartedly. Without doing this, you will miss the point in life. Joy and love are the highest vibrations. It’s what we are all here to express. Joy is a conscious choice.
Since women are gatekeepers and facilitators, they are good at serving others and creating strong connections in business and families. But women tend to put joy aside in favor of generating families, prosperity, relationships, and making certain everyone’s needs are met but their own. Additionally, what pushes joy aside is dwelling in the past, the #1 joy inhibitor. Regularly revisiting old traumas and negative emotions and experiences prevents personal growth and makes for unconscious participation in life. By the time many women are in their 40’s and 50’s, they feel like over ripe tomatoes on the brink of explosion. Not a good place to be emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
To feel empowered to create a life of joy, and be true to yourself, honor what YOU love to do. It is an expression of your deeper self. Have courage to put the past aside and everyone’s needs aside to dedicate time to yourself. When you achieve a healthy balance, you will be able to rejuvenate and replenish the energies that keep you engaged and creatively productive.
There are three ways to get closer to experiencing joy that Katana Abbot and I will be talking about on Smart Women Talk Radio this month:
1. A step towards personal growth is releasing the past and staying in the present moment. Practice life as a joyful exercise in the present. You’ll be glad you did.
2. Spirituality is how much joy you have in your life.
3. You can create the life you choose. It takes clarity and passion. Be consistent.
Join me on September 16th 2014 to talk about “Choosing Joy” on the Smart Women Talk Radio show! If you missed the show you can hear the interview here.
We honor the creative principle when we recognize that we are filled with divine light. But we diminish our light when nurse a grudge and are bound to negative energy. Instead, focus on your spiritual growth. Practice forgiveness and recognize that an individualized spark of God exists in everyone. Do your best to rise above negative circumstances and take the high road.
Thought for the day: The path to joy is lit with acceptance and forgiveness.
We are often so busy managing our busy lives that we forget to fill up our own tank of energy. How do we refill ourselves? Going to the spa or a yoga class helps us nurture ourselves, but learning to be at ease with who we are is more important to recharging our batteries. How can we learn to be at ease with ourselves? What does it mean to be an authentic person?
When we don’t know ourselves, we can’t have a healthy and balanced outlook on life. Self-power grows through self-appreciation and self-nurturing. Being at ease is accepting yourself. People, who know who they are, express self-love calmly and confidently. They’re extremely magnetic. Ease is everyone’s natural, healthy state. People who are not at ease with themselves must force themselves to be compassionate; they exhibit impatience and are unable to be fully present when you are with them.
You are a butterfly
Like butterflies, we are all in various stages of personal growth and spiritual metamorphosis. In the butterfly’s larval stage, it’s a caterpillar. The caterpillar has to shed its skin several times in order to accommodate its expanding body. It knows exactly where it is while it’s preparing itself and getting stronger for its final transformation. It goes into its chrysalis, into solitude, into the dark, and completely reassembles its cells to make itself into a new butterfly. Shortly before the butterfly emerges from its chrysalis, the chrysalis becomes transparent and reveals the butterfly inside. To prepare for takeoff, the insect’s swollen body pumps fluids into its tiny, shriveled-up wings. This fluid, which comes from a reservoir contained in its abdomen, sustains the butterfly and allows it to expand its wings and fly.
If we were butterflies, what would happen to us if our chrysalis cracked open early and we had to emerge before we were ready? Could we eat what was in front of us? Would we fly any faster, any longer, any higher? I like to think that we develop strength and spiritual vitality when we crawl out on our own. Without this work, we would die. We really can’t choose not to emerge. That’s the natural way of things. Like the butterfly, we must pay attention to what is presented to us and integrate the inner world of awareness and the outer world of experience so these worlds inform one another. This is how we develop authenticity.
The Sage and the Mouse
There is a wonderful story in my new book The Oneness Gospel. It’s a favorite of the monks of India.
Long ago, there once was a kindly wise man who adopted a mouse. The Sage, who was also a great wizard, turned this mouse into a girl and lovingly raised her as his daughter. Under his tutelage and kindness, she grew to be serene and beautiful. She became his greatest joy. He gave her an education, and she received all the benefits of a life of refinement and abundance. When she came of age, and it was time for her to marry, the Sage, knowing she deserved the best, looked for a suitable husband for her. He presented the overseers of the cosmos to her: the kings of the sun, the moon, and the stars, all great and noble beings. They were the most excellent and honorable marriage candidates in the universe.
The girl who had been a mouse thoughtfully considered the life that each king could offer to her. She contemplated on the lofty power each one represented. Then, one by one, she rejected them, turning down their offers of marriage. Still only desiring her happiness, the Sage searched to the ends of the earth to find more noble beings who represented the different aspects of nature: the lords of the wind and the mountain, the ruler of the ocean. These he presented to her in a grand ceremony, hoping to honor and please her. Again, she kindly refused each one.
One day, the Rat Guardian, who was not invited to be presented with the other noble beings, arrived at the palace to ask for the girl’s hand. His greatest achievement was to tunnel through the hard structure of the mountains. The Sage’s daughter instantly fell in love with the Rat Guardian, whom she thought was the finest candidate of all. When the Sage saw this, he was perplexed. How could this be? Then he remembered that his daughter deserved to know her true self and know happiness. With this realization, he instantly turned her back into a mouse so she could marry the Rat Guardian and live with authenticity and happiness.
What’s the moral here? You can never deny who you really are. If you try to be something you’re not, there can be no joy, no feeling of completion. To be at ease, you must be who you are. If you can only be a mouse, then be that mouse and feel satisfied with the choices you make in life that arise from that authentic part of you. Being yourself will be your greatest joy. When you know your own truth and relax into who you are, life will always support you.
Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D. is an ordained Minister of Spiritual Peacemaking and a Deeksha facilitator trained by the oneness guides from Fiji and India. She is the bestselling author of Let Your Goddess Grow!7 Spiritual Lessons on Female Power and Positive Thinking and The Women’s Book of Empowerment: 323 Affirmations That Change Everyday Problems Into Moments of Potential. Her Midwestern sensibility and spiritual approach to self-empowerment has helped thousands awaken to their Divine magnificence within. Her new book The Oneness Gospel is having its big Amazon launch on Tuesday April 24th, 2012. Subscribe to this blog for more inspiration and news of how to get the book and some wonderful gifts during the launch.
Live from the inside out. Let’s learn to develop calmness and a feeling of inner expansion. Calmness invites focus, self awareness, energy, intelligence into our experience. Bliss is not going to knock on our front door and asked to be let in! Calmness is developed with diligence – we must learn to quiet the mind in meditation or contemplation.
Practice inner awareness. We must get to know our own behavior. When we learn to live as an observer, we are aware of our own behaviors and how it affects others.
Be fully present with people and circumstances. Quit texting when you are talking to someone and give them your full attention. Slow your mind down and focus on the task or situation at hand.
Value honesty and seek to be authentic. Part of being at ease and living a balanced life is to be an authentic individual. You can never, ever give someone something you do not already own yourself, such as love. To try to do so is inauthentic. So, as you get to know yourself, learn to be honest with your feelings, recognize your unique perspective on life. As long as it’s not hurting anyone, celebrate you and your gifts to the world in your work, personal life, and activities.
Developing ease and positivity also comes from affirming the best in you. So let’s begin our day with an affirmation that recognizes our desire to get in touch with ourselves. We cannot lead a balanced life until we love and appreciate who we are. Let’s affirm:
“Today I change the way I internalize life. I inhale living spirit with every breath I take and focus my energy to help others on their soul journey. I love my entire self and trust life. I am comfortable knowing that I am loved for who I am because I am a unique expression of creation. I am in love with my true and authentic self.”
I hope you enjoyed these tips on being with ease with yourself. I’d love to hear from you, so please do share your comments and personal stories below.
And, please stay in touch with me by subscribing to this blog using the form on the right-hand side of your screen. That way, I can send you more stories and insight from The Oneness Gospel.
Bhagavan makes spirituality easy, and says it is the amount of joy you have in your life. It is not measured by how many hours you meditate. Everyone, he says, will have a unique form of spirituality and awakening. If there are six billion people on the planet, then there will be six billion extraordinary experiences of awakening and of the Divine. That’s six billion special practices of spiritualities, six billion special experiences of spiritual transformation. One is not better than the other. Just be honest with yourself and know growth never really ends.
There’s an old story about a man seeking enlightenment. He finds an enlightened holy man who shares his before-and-after scenario with the spiritual seeker. “Before I was enlightened, I chopped wood and carried water,” says the holy man.
The seeker, expecting to hear about how amazing the holy man’s life became after his awakening, says, “Wow, what did you do afterward?”
“Chopped wood, carried water,” replies the holy man. “Only after I was enlightened, I really enjoyed it.” The spiritual seeker who looks to quiet the mind and pursues communion with God is growing his or her consciousness and doesn’t look for extraordinary experiences. When your consciousness grows, it means that you are developing the ability to experience the simplest things in life with joy.
You can have the same experiences repeatedly and feel a new, heightened sense of awareness each time. Eating a big slice of your birthday cake is always fun. So is seeing the same family members every year, riding the Tilt-A-Whirl, or catching the same bass in the lake behind your house. Unawareness is feeling disconnected or let down by life, feeling depressed, like a robot living on emotional reactions. You sense lack everywhere, in everything. If you think you’re leading a spiritual life, ask yourself, “How well am I experiencing my reality? Is there joy in nearly everything?” If you’re awakened, you see life for what it is rather than what you think it should be. Living a spiritual life is feeling at ease with yourself, your feelings, and your relationships. It’s accepting people exactly as they are and being grateful for them. You’re able to face other people without fear, guilt, or defense mechanisms because you’re not on guard, not afraid of making mistakes or losing something.
A person who is truly spiritual can live alongside of others and never forget God, even for a moment. The Sufi sage Abu Sa’id ibn Abi-al-Khayr once said that the true mystic can come and go, eat and sleep, buy and sell, marry, chat, and be with others in the mainstream of life but never be out of touch with his or her own divinity. No matter what your life experiences are, there is no reason ever to be separated from who you really are.
I hope you enjoyed this short article on being with ease with yourself. I’d love to hear from you, so please do share your comments and personal stories below.
And, please stay in touch with me by subscribing to this blog using the form on the right-hand side of your screen. That way, I can send you more stories and insight from The Oneness Gospel.
Life is supposed to be an adventure, right? But how do we express our delight and wonder with life’s magnificence while we’re doing boring jobs, paying bills, or taking care of our elderly parents? Once we become aware of the present moment and how perfect and powerful that moment is, we look at life differently. Unfortunately, we are accustomed to looking at life rather than looking within. It’s the difference between doing and being. Kids are very aware of the present moment. They’re great at it, in fact, and they don’t think too much beyond the present. As our responsibilities grow in adulthood, we often forget this important key to cultivating more joy in our lives.
As adults, we have forgotten how to play. When we look at any activity with a sense of joy and invite ourselves to be surprised with the simple things, time slows down. Every moment becomes a gift. If we look at life once in awhile like kids, the simplest things would seem amazing – a sunny day, a lack of structure, seeing everything new with fresh innocence. Recapturing this simple joy, and the gratitude for life’s bounty, is vital to living a balanced life because joy is our natural state of being.
How can we can learn from our children and recapture a joyful, playful, younger outlook?
Unseat old thought patterns about having fun. When you were growing up, did adults tell you that if you were playing you were being irresponsible? Not working hard enough? If you were having fun, did your parents appear to feel worse because they thought there was no fun in their own lives? Sometimes past programming takes all the fun out of having fun. Learn to recognize these old mental programs and release them.
Indulge in more simplicity and wonder. Slow down. Stop looking at entertainment as a pleasure that provides you with an adrenaline rush. Get rid of your “bucket list” and lower your threshold of expectation. Maximize your appreciation with the basics—a delicious meal, a good book, a hummingbird in the garden, the five minutes a day your dog licks your face or your cat purrs at you. Be fully present for these types of simple pleasures.
Learn to love everyday life. Living an intelligent life is being in touch with life. It means being present and connected with other people. At mealtime, eat your food and enjoy it. Appreciate the weather. Rejoice when a friend calls you to chat. Give yourself over to whatever you’re experiencing today. You’ll find that joy can trickle down into the smallest things.
Let’s remember that our natural and balanced state of being is joy. Let’s affirm:
“Today, I am a playful soul child. I look at everything with a sense of wonder and surprise. Time slows down today, and each moment is a gift. I love simply being me, being free, and making it up as I go along. I have a skip in my step and stretch my arms wide to the sky to accept an unlimited universe filled with joy! I have a joyful, playful, youthful spirit.”
Put aside the adrenaline rush you want to experience when you try some new, “over-the-top” experience. Instead, look for the moments of power you find in your home, backyard, or workplace. Empowered and balanced people are constantly in awe of life. They give thanks for the opportunities that exist to appreciate simplicity. Watch the corresponding video on The Balancing Act here.
More affirmations that help you be a kid again and embrace life with a sense of surprise
Can’t be a kid again
It feels great to play and relax with my children. I love to be a kid. Laughing together shows we are all worthy of having fun in our lives. I take time to play and love the child in me. Everyone in this family deserves to have fun. Including me!
Can’t spend money on having fun
I do not recognize any lack in the universe. My source works through me to provide what I want. I am worthy of joy and pleasure! Denying myself pleasure does not create more room for other good things to happen. There is an unlimited supply of pleasure in the universe. I now allow my income to move through me so I can enjoy life more fully. The channel is open between my money and accepting good, fun, and joy.
Worried about the cost of having fun
I am an image of wealth because I am my unlimited God-self. I open a clear channel to replenish my supply. Since my needs are met even before I anticipate them, I can spend money on having fun. There is no need to deny myself anything. I am an expression of wealth and abundance. There is no lack in the infinite mind of God.
Affirmations are a simple tool we can use to feel better about ourselves. By repeating aloud or silently the positive things we want for our lives, we train our minds to move past other people's views and our own internal scripts to embrace new and joyful possibilities. According to Charlene Proctor, Ph.D., affirmations help "arrest the impulse to self-doubt and give you more energy to focus your attention on a life filled with prosperity, love, good health, and happiness."
Her affirmations, lectures, and electronic programs reach a worldwide audience daily. She is a frequent media guest and among the Top 100 Thought Leaders of 2007. (The Warren Bennis Leadership Magazine).
Charlene, your words inspire me each and everyday! They open my mind and expand my horizons to places I've never traveled. keep up with all the wisdom and words of encouragement!! My god bless you and keep you healthy and safe. Just one more thing. I would so vote for you if you were on Dancing with the stars !!!!!!! David
Thank you for your kind words and becoming a great friend and mentor. You positive words help lift my spirits and inspire me. I look forward to having the honor to offer a great service to you.Gods Grace be with you, Aimee
Amazon review from: Let Your Goddess Grow! 7 Spiritual Lessons on Female Power and Positive Thinking (Paperback)
I purchased the book for my 19 years old daughter as a Christmas Gift. She's enjoying the reading and is happy about owning this book. I can see a slight improvement and a learning as on a mother daughter day she'll explain to me how she's learning to think positive based on her reading....