Life provides valuable lessons through our closest relationships. My Indian dasas, the monks who teach personal mastery, say that many aspects of who we are, and what we need to improve upon, are reflected back to us in the form of friends, family, or work partners. It is God’s way of showing us what needs attention in our self-development. If we are impatient, or need to learn acceptance or forgiveness, we often experience people who are challenging enough to strengthen those qualities within. I’ve always taught that we can’t learn to be better people by reading self-help books at the beach – we must get out there and be unafraid to engage in life. It’s what we are here to do.
When we are self-loving, project love, and surround ourselves with lovable people, we naturally attract beautiful and harmonious relationships. We create our own reality and it feeds us with positive energy, like a wondrous daily dessert.
However, because of peer pressure, loyalty, or a shared goal, sometimes we extend difficult relationships way past their expiration point because they feel comfortable. We do not notice negativity or emotional abuse and are afraid to leave because of the investment we made in that relationship, such as children, a business, creative material, or mutual friends. Our judgment becomes clouded because we fear the future, and believe our life would lack happiness or feel incomplete. We agonize about what life would look like without that person in our daily lives. Then we believe we can change others for the better and convince ourselves that they can be fixed if we just work harder. We blame ourselves for not being better at what we do.
These are not lovable relationships built upon foundations of mutual respect, sincere gratitude, and joy. These relationships become helpless addictions and take the place of personal growth. Often everyone you know can see it, but you can’t because you are in denial.
Today, the only advice I can offer is that no matter how we attempt to stay on top of an empowering outlook on life, we all make mistakes. We are human and sometimes get trapped by choosing to experience people who do not allow us room to grow. But we can still take away something positive. When we are finally ready to walk away and be willing to start over, we are sending a signal to the Universe that our empty cup is ready to be filled once again, with goodness. We are never stuck in any challenging situation as long as we set our minds to moving through it, and are willing to shed old negative beliefs we thought were the truth, and be free.
At an airport not long ago, I heard a beautiful song by Dido. It reminded me that when a relationship has run its course or is beyond repair, letting go is simply an exercise in developing strength and resiliency. It is a form of self-love, because we choose to take the first step toward our own liberation, which is the hardest. Only then can we discover better people and circumstances surrounded by joy:
Take it by your silence
That I’m free to walk out the door
By the look in your eyes I can tell
You don’t think I’ll be back for more
Try to think of the world
Where you could stay and these safe hands could go
Take your heart above the water
Wherever I choose to go
Even when you don’t see me
Even when you don’t hear
I’ll be flying low below the sun
And you’ll feel it all out here
No love without freedom
No love without freedom
No love without freedom
No freedom without love
Empowered Blessings,
© Charlene M Proctor and The Goddess Network, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
For more affirmations, read The Women’s Book of Empowerment: 323 Affirmations that Change Everyday Problems into Moments of Potential.
